Blades' Date
by ArmorOfDay
Summary: Blades reluctantly goes to meet Vortex on a date. At first it goes well, but then it doesn't. But at least he got his favorite treat - rust sticks! Written for Xobit. Transformers is owned by Hasbro.


"Man, that's a lot of flowers."

"No kidding. Who brought them in here?"

"And how'd he get in without being seen?"

"What I want to know is, why are they in Blades' room?"

Blades yawned slightly as he entered the quarters he shared with his fellow Protectobots. He had just gotten off a long shift and was, as the humans put it, dead tired. He was ready for a nice long recharge.

"Hey look, if it isn't lover-bot himself."

"Huh?" Blades blinked, looking up to see his brothers clustering around the door to his private room.

4 sets of matching grins, from 4 mechs with matching paint schemes, were aimed his way. It was slightly unnerving, and a little annoying. Hotspot and Groove were snickering loudly, Streetwise was smirking from audio to audio, and even First Aid was biting his lip to keep from laughing.

"What's going on?" Blades asked, wondering if he should be worried. Had Sunstreaker and Sideways pranked his room?

"I think you should see for yourself, Blades," First Aid said, stepping aside to make room for him.

Optics narrowed almost to slits, Blades stepped past his brothers and into his room. And his jaw nearly hit the floor.

His bedroom- his private space, that was his and his alone- had been filled to the brim with flowers. There were roses heaped on his berth, tulips piled on his desk, and the floor couldn't even be seen due to the covering of daisies, lilies, daffodils, and other types of flowers Blades didn't recognize.

'Not again,' he groaned to himself. 'Why can't he take a hint?'

"Looks like you've got an admirer," Streetwise said. "Any idea who it is?"

'Yeah, but I'm not going to tell you,' Blades thought. "Nope, no idea," he said aloud.

"Wonder who is was," First Aid mused.

"Yeah, who would have a crush on Blades?" Groove joked.

"Maybe it's a mistake," Hotspot suggested. "Maybe whoever it was meant to put it in First Aid's room and made a mistake."

"Yes, that must be it," Streetwise agreed. "First Aid does have a lot of mechs drooling after him, don't you, First Aid?"

"Streetwise!" First Aid yelped, blushing.

As his brothers began teasing First Aid, Blades began to scoop up the flowers and putting them in the waste bin. He had to flatten the pile several times with his foot to fit them all in. blades had no compunctions about getting rid of the flowers. He hadn't asked for them, he didn't want them. This gesture wasn't sweet or romantic; it was annoying and embarrassing. He was a rough and tumble Protectobot, a warrior; not some timid little femme.

'Mistaking First Aid's room for mine, I wish that was what it was. What do I have to do to get through to this guy? Shoot his cable off?'

As he was cleaning, Blades spotted a note tucked under his pillow. He quickly grabbed it and stuffed it into his subspace before any of the others could see it. He didn't know what it said, but he could guess, and he knew if his brothers saw it, they would never let him live it down.

It took half an hour, but eventually his brothers had lost interest and left, and the flowers were gone. Blades decided he might as well read the note. He pulled it out and looked it over, wrinkling his nose. It was as bad as he feared.

'My dearest love,

My spark burns for you day and night. Every moment without you feels like one of my interrogation sessions.

All I can think about is you. When I combine with my brothers to form Bruticus, I imagine I'm combing with you. Do you feel the same way when you form Defensor? I hope you do. It would be incredible to combine with you, our parts joining together as one.

I hate not being able to see you. If I had my way, I'd trap you in one of my wind funnels so that you could never leave. We'd be together forever.

I want to see you. Meet me tonight at the canyon cave. You know where. I have a treat prepared for you. I hope you like it.

Your loving darling,

Vortex.'

Reading the note, Blades just had one thought- bleagh. This wasn't the first time Vortex had written him a love note, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. No matter how many times Blades told him he wasn't interested, Vortex wouldn't take the hint. The sadistic Decepticon just kept lavishing with gifts and tokens of affection. It was extremely annoying. Blades was just grateful that he was discreet about it. If anyone found out, Blades would be humiliated.

'I'm not going. I don't care what he has planned. Maybe if I stand him up, he'll finally get it through his head that I'm not interested.'

2 hours later, Blades found himself flying toward the canyon to meet up with Vortex. If someone had asked him, he would have said that it was to tell the purple-grey helicopter that he had no desire to have a relationship with him. But if he were honest with himself, Blades would have to admit that he didn't know why he was going. What was it about that Decepticon that got under his plating?

There. He had reached the canyon. Dipping downward, he flew along until he came upon a large cave at the bottom end. Transforming back to root mode, Blades entered without hesitation. He had no worries about Vortex ambushing him. At least not to hurt him. An attack hug though, maybe. He had done that before. The last time, Blades had put a crack in his visor.

'This is so stupid. Why am I even here?' Blades thought to himself. 'And more importantly, why don't I just turn around and leave?'

"You came! You really came!" a voice rang out, startling Blades from his thoughts.

He looked up to see Vortex coming toward him from the back of the cave system. The Decepticon had removed his mask and sported a big goofy grin on his face. He bounded toward Blades happily, almost skipping like a sparkling.

"I've got it all set up!" Vortex exclaimed. "You're going to love it! I spent weeks planning!"

"I'm sure you did," Blades began. "But really, Vortex, I'm not-"

"Come on, you're really got to see it!" Vortex interrupted, grabbing his arm. He practically hauled the other mech to the back of the cave.

"Vortex, let go of my arm!" Blades yelped as he was pulled along. "I don't want to know what you set up! I don't c… care..."

Blades' voice trailed off as the pair rounded a corner and he saw just what Vortex had in store. Several lights had been placed in the corners of the makeshift 'room' with various gemstones piled in front of them, giving the room a soft, multicolored glow. Large cushions were piled on the floor. And a pair of chairs sat at a table for 2 that was covered with various energon goodies. A small stereo was quietly playing Blades' favorite music.

"You really put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?"

Vortex just beamed in reply before guiding him to a seat. "I've got mid-grade and high-grade energon, oil pie, savory energon cookies, and rust sticks."

"Rust sticks?" Blades said, perking up. "You got actual rust sticks all the way out here?"

"Yeah, I had Shockwave send them over with our last supply shipment. I've got iron and copper flavor."

Blades' optics nearly sparkled. Real rust sticks! He hadn't had those since he came to Earth! And copper, his favorite! That alone made it worth coming. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

Then with a quiet click, the lights sparked out. So much for that.

"What he-? I knew I shouldn't have bought the lights from Swindle! The perfect name for that mech if ever there was one!"

"Calm down!" Blades said. "Just turn on your own lights."

"Oh yeah, right."

Blades rolled his optics as he switched his lights on, Vortex doing the same. The room wasn't quite as romantic under the stark white spotlights as it had been earlier. Instead of the soft, diffused glow of reds, blues, greens, and purples filling the cavern, it was nearly pitch-black with patches of washed-out brightness from 2 sets of lights.

"Well, I guess it's not a total wash," Vortex said. "We still got the spread, so let's enjoy it."

"Fine by me," Blades said, sitting in one of the chairs. He didn't care how bad the mood lighting was, he wanted those rust sticks!

The 2 helicopters started in on the food eagerly. Blades almost shivered in delight as he bit down on a rust stick. Vortex grinned at the Autobot's reaction. He really liked those copper ones, and Vortex knew why. The tangy sweetness of the copper balanced out by the sourness of the rust. Small wonder it was nearly everybody's favorite.

"This is pretty nice, Vortex," Blades had to admit.

"I'm glad you like it," Vortex beamed. "Maybe we could do it again sometime?"

"Well, I don't know about- do you hear scratching?"

"Scratching?"

Vortex set down his cube and listened, turning up his audios. Something WAS scratching, he could hear legs of some kind moving over the stone floors. A lot of legs, in fact. A lot of legs moving quickly. Right toward them. As if on cue, he and Blades turned to the entrance to the rest of the caves.

"Please don't be scraplets, please don't be scraplets, please don't be scraplets," Blades muttered.

A pair of optics suddenly flashed at them as a small metallic body scurried into the beam of their lights. Oh, thank Primus! It wasn't a scraplet. This thing didn't remotely resemble the big-headed metal eating horror. It looked more like an Earth creature- a scorpion, if Vortex remembered correctly.

"What the heck is that thing?" Blades said.

"I have no idea. At least it isn't a scraplet."

The red and white Protectobot nodded in agreement, then narrowed his optics as 2 more scorpions came in view. Another pair appeared soon after, joining the 3 crawling around on the floor. The first one was headed for the table, making the pair of mechs nervous.

"Um… those things may not be scraplets, but that doesn't mean they won't eat like scraplets," Blades said.

"Good point. Let's get out of their way."

"That… might be difficult."

Vortex looked back over at the entrance, optics widening behind his red visor at the sight of a swarm of metal scorpions scrambling over each other. The scraping of their legs against the ground and the clicking of their pincers made the Decepticon's fuel tank twist with nausea.

"Ye-ouch! Get off me!"

A pained yell broke Vortex out of his slightly horrified trance. He spun around to see Blades slapping at scorpions that were clinging to his legs. One had closed its pincer over a cable in his leg, causing him to hop on the other leg in pain.

"Get this thing off me!" Blades nearly snarled. This was ridiculous! All he wanted was to enjoy a few rust sticks!

Blades grabbed the scorpion and yanked it off, throwing it into the wall. It fell to the ground with a clunk, one of its pincers falling off. He ignored the pain from the slightly torn cable. It wasn't an energon line or hydraulic for movement, so it wasn't going to hurt him. He concentrated on getting the other scorpions off his legs, but more kept pouring in.

The distinctive zap of a laser blaster caused Blades to start, looking up to see Vortex firing at the little pests. He was coolly methodical, shooting them once on the head. Not a single shot was wasted as he took them out one by one. Quite a few were stopped, but there was still more to take their place.

"We need to get out of her before we're scorpion chow," Vortex said, crushing one under foot.

"No kidding," Blades agreed, pulling his own gun out. "I'll cover you."

Vortex nodded and headed for the entrance. He kicked and stomped any scorpions that he didn't blast. Blades followed behind him, blasting away at anything that moved. Slowly but surely, they made their way out of the cavern and into the tunnel that headed outside. Blades squirmed internally as he felt scorpions crawl over his legs.

"There! Daylight!" Vortex exclaimed as they neared the exit.

"Good! I've had enough of these slagging scorpions!"

"You can say that again!"

They rushed through the exit, brushing the scorpions off each other. Blades felt a certain satisfaction as he zapped the last one to a melted pile. After the way they had snapped and pinched at him, he was not going to feel guilty for squishing them.

"I think that's all of them," Vortex said. "That was weird though. I didn't think Earth had any metal life forms."

"It doesn't," Blades said. "Someone had to have put them there on purpose."

"On purpose? You mean, like sabotage? Who would do something like that?"

"I don't know, but I'm guessing it's the 2 bots I hear snickering up on that ledge over there."

Vortex whipped around, spotting the shadows of 2 mechs trying to hide themselves on a ledge near the top of the canyon wall. He recognized those silhouettes immediately. Swindle and Brawl, 2 of his brothers. They ruined his date!

"Swindle! Brawl! I know you're up there!" he shouted in rage. "When I get my servos on you-!"

The 2 mechs actually squeaked in surprise, transforming into their alt modes and zooming away. Vortex snarling and transformed as well, chasing after them. In his anger, he had completely forgotten about Blades and that he was on a date. He just wanted to throttle his brothers for the mean-spirited prank.

As the 3 Decepticons sped into the distance, Blades had to laugh. He had had a feeling that the so-called date was going to be a disaster, but he didn't think it would be quite like this. He almost felt sorry for Vortex. Having his brothers sabotaging something he had put so much effort into… That was something Blades couldn't imagine his own brothers ever doing.

'Well, at least it wasn't a total loss,' he thought to himself, pulling something out of his subspace. 'I managed to save the rust sticks.'


End file.
